Kill My Introvert

I'm always trying to be as honest as I can and as kind as possible all these years. But so far I'm disappointed most of the time with the respond I've received. From my perspective view, it is hard for me to act to be like that yet less people appreciated.

So, I'm learning. To discover why all these tragedies happened and how to manage them properly. 

Now, I'm done with waiting and hoping for someone to understand me. I just realized that it is a selfish act even you'd claimed yourself as an introvert. No one will take that.

No one lend their hand? No worries. Why not you just do it yourself?

As conclusion of my life on this moment, I'm over estimated myself seriously and put too high expectation towards others. That kills my life and I'm gonna terminated it by myself.

First of all my killing stage, I'm gonna to improve my appearance. I'd planned so many years ago since I'm still in secondary school about to make my appearance better. Too sad to be saying, my parents doesn't care about that and no one supporting me, also I'm too shy to be told on that time. So this time I'm gonna doing it myself and show the result to them.

Practice and practice!

内化

那一刻，我只想静静。。。 陪伴着波涛汹涌的电影配乐。。。 一个人静默地酝酿着内心的世界，内化自己，收敛情绪，坐在那。人们称之为“发呆”。

许多时候我只是觉得可悲，在这快速运转的世界，人们变得越来越肤浅，越来越速食，看似文明的世界却是那么地不禁一击。一句话，一个潮流，一个新指标，被大肆地宣传，尔后你会察觉那些想要快速让人认定自己的人就会随波逐流，称之为活在前方。实在有太多的例子。

选择静默地看着，抛下我的锚，小心翼翼，守护自己在这漩涡中，力挽狂澜，弥补以往的无知。迟了，至少是醒的，觉悟确实能带自己看到不一样的风景。

一个被视为无能的青年，带着世俗光鲜的外表，装着淡漠的灵魂，寻求内心不能被买赎玷污的感动，永恒地静默地面对生活。

无知带来毁灭，智慧却存留生命。

请原谅我的自负。我想只有真实有同遭遇的你才能理解。